5. Dear Intuition

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Dear Intuition

You remind me of the best friend character in a rom-com, always in the background, always with the advice that we wish the main character would only listen to before it’s too late. You’re a bit of a know-it-all, but in the nicest possible way.

I don’t think men really understand intuition. Not like women do. Perhaps that’s unfair of me, considering I have never experienced being a man myself. I only have my husband to go on and I have to say – unless we’re talking about mortal danger here, he’s rather clueless when it comes to picking up on things.

It’s probably the babies and the children that have helped us develop our intuition. In my case, motherhood has sent mine into overdrive. I now have false-intuition, which is actually more like white-hot panic. Is there a body of water deeper than a puddle within 100 metres of my child? Is there a dog/chicken/obstacle/untied shoelace? My mother senses will be ringing off the hook.

This is why I have been banned from taking my kids to the playground. I can’t stop myself from hovering and muttering “Be careful!” under my breath. My son is eight and a half.

Years ago, I watched a tv show about teaching girls to trust their intuition. I believe in this – and not just for girls, either. I’ve tried to explain yucky feelings and knowing something isn’t right. They look at me with wide eyes. Do you know what the biggest obstacle is for kids in trusting their gut?

Being good.

Kids are taught to respect grown-ups and mind their manners and not talk back. I genuinely fear that if someone tried to do something to my daughter, or lead her away somewhere, she wouldn’t protest for fear of seeming impolite.

That made me think about my own intuition and my own tendencies to be nice and pleasant and not cause a fuss. I believe in gut feelings. My intuition has proven to be correct time and time again. Especially when it comes to the children. I think I’m pretty good at reading people. When I meet someone for the first time, I often have a strong, almost physical feeling about them. There have been people I’ve met who I know to stay away from – others I have adored in a matter of seconds. All of my closest friends have been instant, spark-like connections.

But (oh, how this frustrates me) there is still a part of me that doesn’t want to rock the boat.

So I might say yes to something I know will make me miserable. Or I might go along with what a Dr suggests when I feel like I should do some further research. I might close my eyes to what someone shows me about themselves, wishing instead they were the person who exists in my mind.

Maybe you’re not like the best friend in the movies after all. Maybe you’re more like a whisper from the deepest part of ourselves. Whatever you are, you’re not rational. Most of the time we can’t explain why we know something – we just do.

I’m past the age of wanting everything to be explained and neatly packaged. So however you work, Intuition, keep on doing it.

And I promise  I’ll try to be a better listener.

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